Thursday, June 01, 2006
Okay, i have a blog again and it's the holidays again.
This June holiday is really boring and besides studying, piano and cello, there's nothing else. I dont have to train already and this feeling sucks a lot. I just realised how much time squash takes up in my life and without it, DUDE I'M A LONELY KIDDDOOO ):
I had OBS on the last week of school and that was a major waste of time. I hate the fact that i'm being so pessimistic and objective about an issue. (Any issues) I'm really not in the mood to do self-motivation, self-reflection on my perspectives and attitude now. Now is now, tmr is just tmr. I don't like feeling so direction-less. I don't like being so "live your life day by day" kinda way.
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO DO NOW, WHAT MORE TMR. I used to tell myself, this life is your art work to God. You create the roads, you find the direction, you give the drive, you find the meaning,
you be the changer. YOU ARE THE ARTIST of your very picture, your life. Now, i'm just letting the wind pass me by and i'm sitting here, still.
I'm worn out. In my recollection, these two terms seemed to pass really quickly, I wouldn't say it was very tiring but now, i don't know what's with the sudden breakdown - Mentally and Emotionally. I thought i will see these things happening to my friends. I can always self talk myself out of it. (it's what i've been doing for the past year, anyway) Perhaps it's the holidays now and i know i can afford to waste the
time, sinking in this melancholy. Tmr's the MEP camp, where i meet all the other MEPers
(and my nerdy bfs) haha. Nothing seems to be right. I, personally procrastinate changes. Although changes are inevitable, being one of the two constant things in life, i always thought i had a little "constant" in my life - my friendship with cookie monster. However, i guess it's otherwise now ):Before i go, HELLOOOOO
FERGUS YEOOOO CHUNG JIE :D
