Saturday, April 09, 2005
i am finally updating (: haha! well well, the last time i blogged was on the 10 Feb!wow, it has been almost 2 months. Anyhows, things in my life are really different from last year and i am glad for the positive changes (: Attended genex ytd, and pastor Suzanne(i think her name's like that) was talking about changes; How we react towards changes. The only constant thing in this world is changes. She's is right. A change might occur in just a few seconds. It's really scary. I feel really guilty about being mean to the people around me. I will learn to cherish all my friends and my loved ones. I dont want to regret.
Time really flies. Nationals will be ending soon, in 2 weeks time. BYE BYE PASSION! i cant blame anyone for this decision but myself. I am dawn of all trades, master of none. I just can’t balance my things well, so i have to give up one. I am a loser. I give up so easily. Sometimes i really dislike myself, the way i am. But why does God/ Parents still love so much, despite my flaws. I dont deserve Your love. I am sorry for all my sins Lord.
I was late for Genex yesterday and i haven’t attended genex for 1 month! I just realised something: I've never attended Genex more than 4 times consecutively! Attending genex weekly is like almost impossible to me, but there are so many tens of people attending it weekly. To them being able to attend Genex is like "snap" wow that easy. For me, it just seems so difficult! I have so many things to do! Squash trainings/ tuitions/ music lessons/ homework.. name it all!!! Ytd qin zheng talked to me, i like him talking to me and asking me questions, it's really thought provoking(: and it makes me reflect on my life and myself. I always get enlightened by what he says, and somehow my desire to want to know God more is set ABLAZED again. Thanks qz (: I have too many desires other than God, and my first priority isn’t God, therefore I am not determined to do qt daily, neither do i read the bible daily. He asked me why I am so enthusiastic towards squash. why do i like squash so much? why can’t I put God before squash? I guess i am still not disciplined yet, I am not desperate enough for His touch. I want, really really want to give it one more try again! (:
