Friday, December 16, 2005
Highlight of the day"Good Afternoon Mr Benjamin Chang, (May vary) this is Miss tee speaking and i'm from the Ministry of Health. Just yesterday, There have been 5 reported cases of heart attack & eye infection. Unfortunately, these 5 victims last saw you before the fell ill and 4 out of 5 of them are your friends. The MOH would kindly sponsor you one million baht and an air ticket to thailand for plastic surgery by saturday 16/12, otherwise your citizenship in Singapore would be banned. There will be several FBI agents escorting you to the airport tomorrow. You are warned to wear a mask which can be purchased at $15 from Singapore General Hospital. However i would advise you to buy 3 x 7 masks in case your surgery fails. This is a very complex surgery and it requires highly skilled surgeons.
After the tsunami hit thailand in 2004, thailand is still struggling to re-establish its nation hence it cannot resist another threat. Singapore would not like to be at war with Thailand as we promote racial harmony. Please flip to Understanding Our Past, history textbook page 105 for in depth understanding. The MOE would also sponsor the Chang (May vary) generation health textbooks from Primary 1 to University.
Finally, please inform your friends to collect their bursary and prize money of US$1000 for excellent tolerence of ugliness. The award ceremony would be held on the 16th Dec and Sir S R Narthan would be present for this long awaited moment.
Thank You for your cooperation!
UGLY DAYS WILL SOON BE OVER! BE OPTIMISTIC as there is 5% chanceof success in the operation. Good Bye!"
Much love, ele & dawn
